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The LGBT Ministry of the Episcopal Diocese of California
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The Commission on Marriage and Blessing has been charged with developing resources for catechesis with couples and communities of faith relating to pre-marital/pre-union counseling and to help congregations better understand their role in fostering godly relationships “characterized by fidelity, monogamy, mutual affection and respect, careful, honest communication, and the holy love which enables those in such relationships to see in each other the image of God.” (General Convention Resolutions D039, 2000 and C051, 2003) The development of such resources (and the identification of extant resources) is a major component in the ongoing work of the CMB — work that we have only just begun. For example, we are currently working on ways to include same-gender couples in premarital workshops (see below), and we are always on the lookout for articles, books, and other resources to pass along to clergy, couples, and congregations. Such resources will be added to this website as they are developed and/or discovered. In engaging the task before us, the Commission on Marriage and Blessing celebrates the intention of the Episcopal Diocese of California to support and bless both same-gender and heterosexual couples in godly relationship, while hoping for the day when ‘marriage equality’ will be the reality in both the Church and State. Resources for Clergy and Couples There are several programs available to assist clergy with counseling couples preparing for marriage/union. One of the goals of counseling is to provide couples with tools for building and sustaining their relationship. Some of those programs currently used by clergy in the Diocese of California are listed below: Prepare–Enrich – Requires clergy to attend a one-day training session to become familiar with the program. There are different inventories, depending on the circumstances of the couple. This program can be used for people who are already in union and are seeking help to improve or reestablish their relationship. The inventory surveys 11 areas and provides the clergy and couples with starting points for counseling. While there is no inventory specifically designed for same gender couples, the inventories provided are general enough for adaptation with same gender couples. Couples’ Workshop – Bishop Andrus has encouraged CMB and leaders of Basics4Marriage to work together to create a program open to all couples. (A team at St. Paul’s Episcopal Church at Walnut Creek created Basics4Marriage, similar to the familiar Engaged Encounter workshop). We are striving to have a pilot program with a one-day format that would be designed to be used in conjunction with, not in lieu of, individual clergy/couple’s counseling, and would provide couples with tools for enhancing communication. In this model, while those leading the workshop make presentations to the group, the discussion that follows is between each couple, not in a small group. Resources for Congregations There are two parts to resources for congregations. The first involves education for the congregation’s own preparation for hosting same gender blessings and the second involves supporting all couples in their union/blessing. In his October 2006 letter to the clergy (see page 9, herein) Bishop Marc wrote “since the entire community benefits by our continuing discussions about Christian relationships of fidelity and love, and since such conversations can reduce possible misunderstanding in the congregation, I urge you to initiate such important discussions in your communities long before couples present themselves seeking a blessing.” The CMB encourages congregations to engage in study regarding same gender relationships. Congregations have successfully used book studies to open conversation about homosexuality and the blessing of same gender couples in holy union. Such study will also help gauge the response of the congregation to same gender unions. We suggest one or two presenters to facilitate discussion over a four to six week series. The second task of the congregation is to support all couples in their unions. Borrowing from an idea in Dignity USA’s Couples Ministry Resource Guide, your congregation might develop a pastoral team for holy unions. The team would be made up of clergy who fill the role of pastoral leader and lay couples who would be partners in commitment. With this model, the clergy assume responsibility for counseling and preparing the liturgical rite with the couple. Partners in commitment serve as mentors — couples in longstanding, committed relationships share experiences and ideas with the couple preparing for a rite of holy union. The partners in commitment would continue to support the new couple through their first year of union, and hopefully for years to come. The pastoral team might also be responsible for creating and planning a yearly retreat for all couples to explore and deepen their relationship. Bibliography CMB is beginning the process of identifying books and study guides useful for clergy, couples, and congregations. Examples of resources we’ve found to date that you might find helpful include:
Please contact us with feedback relating to resources you know of, or ideas for the types of resources we might consider developing. A note on matters of Church and State In addition to the development of rites for the blessing of same-gender unions and resources for use in catechizing couples and congregations about holy relationships, the Commission on Marriage and Blessing has also determined to engage matters of church and state. For example, the question of whether or not clergy should act as functionaries of the State in marriage/civil union was raised numerous times by both clergy and laity in the context of the work of our predecessor group, the Bishop’s Task Force on Marriage and Blessing. Having completed the first phase of our work in developing rites, we will turn our attention to matters relating to church and state. Please contact us with feedback and willingness to participate in this work. (www.marriageandblessing.org) In engaging the task before us, the Commission on Marriage and Blessing celebrates the intention of the Episcopal Diocese of California to support and bless both same-gender and heterosexual couples in godly relationship, while hoping for the day when ‘marriage equality’ will be the reality in both Church and State. |
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